the THEN WHAT?

I always say that I'm going to keep things nice and simple, short and sweet. I really don't think this will be much of anything, but we'll see.

I've been thinking two different thought patterns lately, both of which end at the same conclusion.

First off, this is the first time in my entire life that I have had a steady relationship with God. My definition of steady relationship with God is a relationship that is void of addictive sin that causes my spiritual life and therefore, my entire life for that matter, to feel as if it's a rollercoaster. This is not to say I do not have sin in my life- I've got plenty of it and always will. I'm just saying that I've never lived free of sin, free of the vicious cycles of sin, for this long and this consistently before. It's a good thing and a bad thing. Good for obvious reasons. But bad, because this opens me up to living a lukewarm spiritual life. At least when I was screwing up all the time, I was deeply sorry and propelled myself full force right back into God's arms every time I messed up. It's comparable to the woman with the oil at Jesus feet and other stories like it... the ones closest to Him, the ones most passionate, tend to be the ones who need His grace the most. This is not to say that I'm not in great need of His grace, but it is to say that I am in immediate danger of growing callous to my own needs, and therefore, growing lukewarm and cold in my daily spiritual walk. (I will add more to this in a few moments)

Secondly, I've been thinking about our reasoning for telling people about Jesus. Yes, we want them to be saved. Yes, we were commissioned to do so as believers. There are tons of reasons out there. But aside from those, why? What is it that we are wanting them to experience? There is an initial moment of salvation, yes. But after that, THEN WHAT? What happens next? What is it that we are so adament to share with other people? (stay tuned)

Basically, I guess I'm getting at.... Why did Christ send His Son? Well, He sent Him to make us holy and to bring us back to Him. Ok, yes, that is true. But then what? Why does He want us with Him? What Im saying is- what is it that happens after we're back with God again? Whether it is now or in Heaven?

God created us for Him and His glory. But He also loved us enough that He gave us an entire world of experiences. He wants to see us happy just like we want to see our loved ones happy. God is just as interested in our daily experiences as He is everything else.

I hope you still take my seriously after I share the next thought or two with you:

God is in the moments that I get in my car to commute to Tampa each day. It's sunny. I'm freshly showered. My hair is blowing and the disco ball on my rearview mirror sends all sorts of splinters of light around my car. My music is streaming and the bass is going strong. Lately, I hear the same song every single day... and the first line is this, "I wake up in the morning feeling like P-diddy." Now, I don't really stand beside the meaning of this song, but I feel God's presence with me as I basically am waking up to another beautiful day that only HE can provide me with. I feel Him chuckling over me as I mouth the beginning line to this song every morning in the privacy that only He gets to share with me.

Yes, it may sound silly to you. But, God is everywhere. He is dying to experience life with us in the smallest -and largest- of ways... but sometimes we are so caught up in more "important" things that we don't realize it.

For example, yes, we are commissioned to share Jesus with everyone, everywhere. And there are tons of people who build their lives around this and that's great and really important. But they are so focused on the PRODUCT (more people accepting Christ) that they miss out on what God is extremely interested in (the PROCESS).

Donald Miller summed up the book of Ecclesiastes something like this- God is telling us to write a great story, take some loved ones along, and allow Him to help us write it. God is the CREATOR of the definition of EXPERIENCE. He didn't give us tastebuds or a sense of smell or eyesight for just any old reason. He did it because He loves us and He wants to give us pleasure.

In relation to my first comment on my own current spiritual standings... I've realized that God is ready to take us deeper at all times. Just because things are steady and good right now doesn't mean I've "arrived." I don't want to settle for good. I want the best. I want to know what my life would look like if I gave it my absolute all. I want to know what it would look like if I gave my absolute all to CHRIST and allowed Him to mold me accordingly.

I challenge you to seek out God tomorrow. How is He showing up in your everyday life? Share it with someone else. Challenge someone else to get involved in the process. Question and examine yourself. Make sure you are giving every ounce you can to Him. Allow Him all the control you are aware you have and see where He takes you. I guarantee you'll have no other choice but to be purely satisfied on Him alone... and I'm pretty sure there's no better thing that could possibly happen.

the issue.

I've been meaning to write this down for the last two weeks, but I just haven't had the extra chance to do so.
Lately, I've been distracted by a certain person. Which doesn't sound all that big of a deal, but to me it is, because I don't want to be distracted. I don't want to be attached to someone who doesn't even know what's going on. On top of that, I don't need everyone else I know to be aware of this in case it never works out anyway (which is more than likely what will happen). It's incredibly petty sounding, but it was really one of the first things on my mind every single day.
Until.... a couple weeks ago. I was at Aletheia and Seth stepped up to give his testimony. What he said during his testimony influences me so much so, that the issue (that's what I like to call it, the issue)... I was having is now 80% of the way gone. Here's what I learned....
Seth was talking about our sin. He was referring to the part after we're sorry for our sin, after we've repented.... the part where we want to change so badly....So basically, how we hang onto our sin and make it our top priority to get it fixed. Pretty normal, right? Well, the problem for most of us, is we can't fix it on our own. But we keep concentrating on the sin, trying to do what we can, sometimes being successful, and sometimes failing miserably, making it a lot worse than it was.
This is the kicker. Seth told us he realized by focusing on his sin (regardless of his good intentions to fix it), he was missing out on the most basic characteristics of God- some of the most basic benefits of knowing God... joy, peace, hope, strength, I could go on and on. So, he focused on who God is and what God has done, etc, instead of his problem. He continued to seek God out and learn more about Him and to love Him more fully. I'm sure you can guess the rest.... By knowing God and caring about his relationship with God first and foremost, Seth's problem kind of took care of itself. He began to love what God loves and hate what He hates. I call it living in the overflow (of God's love, of course).
So, bottomline lesson for me... I realized that this intense distraction I was having could be fixed by not focusing on it as my problem.... but instead, when I found myself distracted, I'd push it aside and fill myself with God. Search Him out for His word, search Him out in prayer, in worship... search Him out in His creation... the list is forever long, but the point is, when I'm tempted to get up to my elbows with my issues, I'm going to drop everything, and seek Him out.
And, I'm sure you can also guess the rest of my story, too.... the distraction issue has pretty much taken care of itself. (or rather, God's taken care of it, while I've been too busy seeking Him out to notice)
(Sorry if I butchered your story, Seth.)

Macaroni Grill on the fritz...

So I'm sitting here, stressing out over whether or not I passed my tests at work. Now, I know there are several different things I could throw out there to make myself feel better or worse. I'm mostly just considering what my life would be like if I'm jobless again come this time tomorrow. At first, I want to break down and cry and beat my fist on the ground like a child. I admit I might actually react that way regardless of anything I consider now or before then. That being said, I started to really wonder and ache for some sort of certainty about when I'll be able to be on my own again, living and having fun like I used to. I ache and desire it so much. The possibilities of what is to come is a neverending daydream for me lately. A new job, after being on unemployment since July, can do that to you. Since I feel there is a significant chance I may be losing my job, already, it is easy to feel disheartened and feel that I will never again get to feel independence again, within the confines and comfort of my own apartment.
The reality of the situation, though, is quite different. For example, you know me and my weird small quirks and desires... well, I've been thinking a lot about the good ol days when I worked at Cracker Barrel. I worked there for 3 years- 03-06. Since I'm training in a new place, I always compare new places to where I've been and what not. For some reason, I've been craving a Momma's French Toast with Blackberries on top from Cracker Barrel all week long. As usual, God hears the smallest desires of my heart. I had ONE CHANCE to be social this entire week and I chose to spend it with my friend Hannah. She wanted to take our friend Danielle and me to Kaleisia. Somehow, she decided sporadically- and all on her own, without my help- to go to Cracker Barrel. Needless to say, I ordered the french toast complete with blackberries, whipped cream, turkey sausage, and fried eggs. And lucky me, Hannah treated me to it. How kind of Hannah, but more importantly, how awesome God is to hear the smallest desires of my heart- the ones that seem like nothing at all- and answer them.
In this seemingly small instance, it was then that I was comforted in remembering that regardless of what my circumstances appear as, God is still looking out for my best interest. If I'm at this job long enough to memorize almost an entire menu, to embarass myself in plenty of friends and family (hey! hows your new job? uhhhhh I was too dumb to pass all the tests!), and to make a hand full of new friends... well, then somehow, that was what I needed for right now and I'll be grateful for it. God has taken me since July without a job and He'll continue to do so... whether I work at Macaroni Grill or if I am jobless all over again.
It's good to be humbled. It's good to be reminded I'm who I am because of what He's done.