just breathe.

First of all, I want to start out by saying that I've been rolling this idea around in my head for several days. I knew I was going to write this blog and I knew the topic far in advance. Most of the time, when I blog, I tend to write about lessons I am currently learning or have recently learned. Stuff like that.

That being said, I find it quite ironic that as I was opening a new window to begin this blog, I got a facebook message from a friend that said, "just remember to breathe!"

Needless to say, I got my affirmation over this blog topic.

Just breathe. Remember to breathe. Stop holding your breath.

I realized while working in the studio and listening to a very old dashboard confessional song, that I have been holding my breath for several weeks now. I don't realize I do these things.

My instructor has been teaching me to throw pottery. For those of you who don't understand, I am learning to use a pottery wheel- go youtube GHOST. You'll figure it out. I often get in trouble with her for holding my breath. I forget to breathe. And she'll even tell me, "Look, if you have to, slowly ease your hands off the piece and then take a breath. Just... find a way to breathe... or you're going to send the whole thing off track when you finally go take that overdue gasp."

I'm not anxious. In fact, I'm ridiculously calm in this season of my life. It is very similar to when I'm throwing. I get so caught up in my focus that I forget to breathe. I'm waiting until I reach a certain point before it's okay to take that next breath.

Right now, I'm at a huge crossroads. I've worn out my welcome at the University of South Florida, FINALLY. My last day of USF is on April 29th. And I'm done.

I leave in five short hours to drive down to Miami for a final interview with an airline. I'll be a flight attendant and will have to relocate to Miramar, Florida.

The farthest away from Dade City I have ever lived is 45 minutes in Tampa.

My heart has always been in travel and in serving other people. I want to be in front of others for a living. I actually WANT to be put into tricky situations with unhappy people so that I can see them smile again while under my car. I'm sure that sounds absolutely ridiculous to you, but when I went seven months without being in front of the general public, I hate to say it, but I missed it terribly. It's what I do.

I've dreamed of being a flight attendant secretly for a very long time. It was something I always thought was out of my reach. It would just never happen. I'm still in awe of the fact that I even got an interview to begin with.

Even though I had the theme selected for this blog, I don't have answers.

(the above sentence is what I was going to say)

But, really, I do have answers. I have this insane amount of faith in God playing a huge part in what is going on in my life right now. He has this whole thing under way. He knows how it's going to happen.. how that I'll respond.. and how that my life is going to look five months from now. No one else can offer me that heads up besides Him. He has my back. He knows what I need most and He loves me so much that He considers the desires of my heart. He is the one who hand crafted me, so He knows exactly how to mold this situation.

There is nothing to be worried about. There is nothing to be holding my breath over. Either I get the job or I don't. Either way, things carry on. And He'll show me His way. This has been an absolutely wonderful experience and it is a dream that I will not give up on if I walk away jobless tomorrow.

Thanks for listening to me ramble myself to sleep.... five...short...hours....